I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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