I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
