Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
