White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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