I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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