Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
