You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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