i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
