id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
