We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
