Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
false alarm, still single
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