Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
