Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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