it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I am available for nakedness
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
