We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
