Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
he had hair everywhere except his balls
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
