69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
wow bdsm is so cute
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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