We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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