I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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