My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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