I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
