Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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