why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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