You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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