So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
