Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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