This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
When did angry sex become our thing?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
