All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
