Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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