I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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