it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize
