tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
This is my gift to your gina
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
