Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Randomize
