There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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