I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
