Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
