Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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