butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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