i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
