Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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