I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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