Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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