Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
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