Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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