Do you still have your period?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
