so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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