you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Randomize
