Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
