Cold hands, warm shart.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Randomize
