Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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