i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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