i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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